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By Anusuiya Dutta
Close your eyes for a moment and picture a family gathering in your home. Think of your mother. Think of the women in your family. Where are they? What are they doing?More often than not, you'll find them in the kitchen, preparing endless cups of chai, cooking elaborate meals, or cleaning up after others. This scene is not unique to your family. It's just the tip of deeply ingrained cultural norms that have shaped the lives of Indian women for generations.
Since the dawn of time, Indian women have been taught that their worth as a Bharatiya nari lies in silent suffering and selfless sacrifices. This conditioning starts early. Girls are often taught to make themselves smaller—to cross their legs, to avoid taking up too much space, to move in ways that are "ladylike."
Even the way we use our voices is often a reflection of our maternal lineage. For some, this means modulating their voices to fit into male-dominated environments while for others, it’s the instinct to apologise before speaking.
The quintessential Indian woman is perpetually working, whether she's being compensated for it or not.
This "unpaid care work" encompasses a vast array of tasks crucial for maintaining households and families. It includes daily chores like cooking, cleaning, and laundry; childcare from infancy through adulthood; elder care for ageing parents or in-laws; and the often overlooked emotional labour of maintaining family relationships and providing comfort.
Deeply entrenched patriarchal norms have designated women as the default caregivers in this care economy—a sector which isn’t even recognised by mainstream economics.
According to the International Labour Organisation, women perform 76.2% of total unpaid care work hours worldwide. On average, women dedicate 4 hours and 25 minutes daily to unpaid care, while men contribute only 1 hour and 23 minutes per day. In low-income countries, the disparity is even more pronounced, with rural women spending up to 14 hours a day on unpaid care tasks.
Moreover, the ILO report identifies unpaid and underpaid care work as the primary obstacle preventing women from securing paid employment, advancing in their careers, or even allocating leisure time for social and political activities.
The burden of unpaid care work exacts a heavy toll on women's physical and mental well-being. Constant demands and emotional responsibility lead to persistently high stress levels, which in turn impair memory, decision-making, and emotional regulation. Women providing extensive unpaid care are also at higher risk of developing depressive symptoms. The relentless nature of care work, which often comes without breaks or support, leads to emotional exhaustion and loss of personal identity.
Chronic fatigue is pervasive among caregivers, stemming from long hours and interrupted sleep patterns, which in turn weakens immune function and increases susceptibility to illness. The repetitive and physically demanding nature of care tasks frequently leads to musculoskeletal disorders, with many women experiencing chronic back pain and joint issues.
Cardiovascular health is also compromised, as the combination of stress and limited time for self-care contributes to an increased risk of hypertension and heart disease. Moreover, the constant prioritisation of others' needs often results in women neglecting their own health, which ultimately leads to delayed medical check-ups and poor nutrition.
The dichotomy here lies in how an entire generation of women have been raised with traditional gender roles while also being empowered to be independent. They are simultaneously heirs to centuries of cultural conditioning and pioneers of a new era of financial independence.
And the truth is, they're tired.
They're tired of feeling the pressure to be superwomen who can juggle it all perfectly, without breaking a sweat. Why should women be expected to carry the bulk of household responsibilities on top of their careers? It's neither fair nor sustainable.
What we truly need is for everyone to share the load. It’s time for men to step up and share these responsibilities equally, without being asked. It should be normal for fathers to take time off when a child is unwell, and for husbands to plan meals and do grocery shopping.
We must shift how society views these roles, starting with how we raise our children, shaping workplace policies, and redefining what we consider ‘normal’ in our culture. This isn't about women doing less — it's about realizing these responsibilities were never just "women’s work" to begin with.
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